When I first meet Catherine Wolf, she is sitting in the living room of
her house at the end of a quiet cul-de-sac in suburban Westchester
County, New York. She wears an elegant velour pantsuit with matching
brown flats. Nearby are two cats, two dogs and an oversized couch.
Pictures of her family are everywhere: framed shots of her with her
husband, Joel '73 PhD; their daughters, Erika and Laura; and, most
abundantly, pictures of their two-and-a-half-year-old grandson, Ellis.
There are at least thirty snapshots of him on the wall, and on a nearby
table sits a digital frame with a rotating series of images of his
smiling face. Outside the windows, the street is blanketed with snow.
Photos by Joshua Dalsimer
Wolf
browses the Web, sends e-mails, conducts research, and peppers the
local paper with letters to the editor- all by only using her
eyebrows.
On the day I visit her, Wolf is browsing Facebook, to which she
recently became addicted. As a successful psychologist and researcher
with decades of experience working at nearby IBM, Wolf has always been
quick to pick up on new technologies. In fact, she's had a role in
developing a lot of new technologies herself, from automated talking
bank tellers to gadgets that convert handwriting to type.
But when Wolf clicks through the internet, she must do so with
painstaking slowness. Confined to a wheelchair, she sits as still as a
mannequin. Of the hundreds of muscles in her body, she can move only a
handful. She breathes with the aid of a ventilator. Yet she types,
talks, browses the Web, writes poetry, sends and receives e-mails,
conducts research, and peppers the local paper with letters to the
editor. She does all this using only her eyebrows.
On a tray attached to Wolf's wheelchair sits a laptop, emitting a soft but steady bong, bong, bong.
It is the tether that connects her to the world outside her head. The
tones it emits are the sound of the cursor moving through rows of
letters on the screen. "Hello," the laptop says, shortly after I walk
in, and then, some seconds later, "How are you?"
The voice is Wolf's. She recorded the greetings seven years ago, before
she lost the ability to speak. In addition to a few key phrases, she
recorded the names of her family members as well as some favorite
jokes. (Question: "What's green and hangs from trees?" Answer: "Giraffe
snot.") She wishes she had recorded more.
Wolf has curly red hair and expressive eyes framed by tortoiseshell
glasses. She can still move her eyes and curl part of her mouth into a
surprisingly bright smile. Her home-health aide places a chair for me
beside Wolf's wheelchair so I can watch her type. It's unnerving to
look over her shoulder this way. The image of a modified keyboard, in
yellow, is arrayed in front of her. It has six letters to a row, plus
punctuation, arranged like this:
e a r d u v .
t o i l g k ,
n s f y x q '
The cursor highlights one row of letters at a time. When it arrives
at the row containing the letter Wolf wants, she raises her eyebrows. Click.
The cursor then moves along the letters in that row, highlighting one
at a time. When it falls on the letter Wolf wants, she raises her
eyebrows again. Click. A T appears in a box at the
bottom of the screen. Then Wolf starts again. A black band across her
forehead lifts each time she raises her eyebrows, triggering an
infrared switch mounted near her head. Bong, bong, bong. Click. Bong, bong, bong. An h appears.
Wolf likes to keep photos of friends and family within view, especially snapshots of her grandson, Ellis.
After about a minute, Wolf has typed
this is a scanning key... I see where this is going and say, "Ah, I see," but Wolf doggedly finishes that last word, typing
b-o-a-r-d.
She then waits until the cursor arrives at a particular icon and raises
her eyebrows one more time, prompting the computer to read the sentence
aloud. This time the voice is not hers but that of the computer:
female, soft, and kind, but tinny and inhuman.
One of the great ironies of Cathy Wolf's life is that she built her
career on the study of human speech, gesture, and handwriting. Compared
to computers, humans are messy, complicated communicators, and Wolf's
six patents and more than 100 journal articles and textbook chapters
are all aimed at teaching computers to understand us better. But since
amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS)—also known as Lou Gehrig's
Disease—began claiming her ability to speak, gesture, and write a dozen
years ago, she has developed a whole new relationship with language.
After leaving IBM on long-term disability in 2004, she began writing
poetry. Her poem "Words" was published in the magazine Neurology Now in the fall of 2007. In it, she describes how she types:
Very,
Slow,
Ly,
Moving my head to the rhythm of beeps
Thankful for each tiny movement
Concentrating letter by letter
Squeezing each word out with gargantuan intensity
Like an ancient chiseling words in Aramaic
I will be heard!
The ability to speak is a remarkable thing. That we can move our lips
and tongues into certain shapes and force air past our vocal cords in a
certain pattern, that this will convey the contents of our heart or
make another person laugh, is one of those human mysteries we rarely
think about. We all instantly understand hullo, yo, hey, hi, or howdy
to mean more or less the same thing, but to a computer these words,
like the wave of a hand, are just a mass of disparate data. At IBM it
was Cathy Wolf's job to help computers make sense of such things.
At the IBM Thomas J. Watson Research Center, Wolf worked as a research
psychologist, designing and testing the interfaces between humans and
machines. Collaborating with computer programmers, Wolf observed people
in their workplaces to determine how a machine might be used in
real-world situations. She led focus groups and tested mock-ups and
program prototypes on potential users. One of the last projects she
worked on at IBM was a technology called the Conversation Machine,
which allowed users to do their banking by talking to a computer over
the telephone. (User: "What's my checking balance?" Conversation
Machine: "Your checking balance is $925.00. What else can I do for
you?")
The
scanning keyboard displays rows of letters highlighted one row at a
time. When a desired letter is reached, Wolf selects it buy raising her
eyebrows. A band around her forehead lifts with each blink, triggering
an infrared switch to capture the letter.
Wolf loved her work. She finds language endlessly fascinating, and
it was exciting to be on the cutting edge of new technologies. She "was
always a person who defined herself by her work," says her husband,
Joel, an IBM mathematician. "I work pretty hard, but when I retire,
I'll be ready to say, 'I'm done.' But she's the kind of person who
would probably have never retired."
Wolf continued to work long after she became ill. When she could not
use her hands anymore, IBM supplied an aide to help with many everyday
tasks. To type, while she still had use of her neck, "I wore a
reflective dot on my forehead whose position was detected by the head
mouse," she says. "I pointed with my head to the letter I wanted and
dwelled on the letter I wanted for a specific time to select it. At one
point, I used a switch under my foot and showed up at IBM meetings with
one shoe on."
It was in 1996 that Wolf first began noticing problems with her left
foot and calf. "She went to a lot of foot doctors and then orthopedic
doctors and then neurologists," Joel recalls. With every possible
diagnosis, Joel recalls, they would think, "'Oh God, I hope it's not
that.'" Then, "'Oh God, I hope it is
that, because if it's not that, it's that.' And then when you get to
the end of that string, the worst thing you could possibly have is what
she had. She went from being a runner to being barely able to walk
within a few years."
ALS is a neurological disease that attacks the motor neurons, the
cells that the brain uses to communicate with the body's voluntary
muscles. Over the course of three to five years, people with ALS
progressively lose the ability to move their fingers and toes, their
arms and legs. Then they lose the ability to speak, to turn their head,
and to swallow food. When the diaphragm and chest muscles give out,
they can no longer breathe. They die.
Although it was identified more than 100 years ago, scientists still
don't know what causes ALS. There is no effective treatment and no
cure. The only thing that can prolong life is a ventilator, which
allows patients to continue breathing. But it does not slow the
progression of the disease. To prolong life for too long raises the
specter of becoming "locked in," of losing the use of every last muscle
until patients are trapped inside their own bodies, fully conscious but
unable to communicate, unable to blink yes or no, unable to signal when
something is wrong, unable to say, Enough. I'm done.
Wolf is among a tiny minority of patients in this country—about 5
percent—who choose to have the surgery to connect them to a ventilator.
The emotional and financial cost, to the patients and their families,
is too high for most.
"My wife has a will to live that probably exceeds 99 percent of the
rest of the world," Joel says. "Her will to live is more than just the
desire to be alive; it's a desire to live a full life. As Cathy herself
puts it, "as normal a life as possible despite ALS."
Which is why, after finally leaving IBM, Wolf realized that "something
meaningful had to replace work." She became involved with
PatientsLikeMe, an online community that provides a forum for people
with ALS and other illnesses to share information about their
experiences and to keep up with the latest medical developments.
PatientsLikeMe offers users the opportunity to assess their condition
by taking the ALS functional rating scale, or ALSFRS, at regular
intervals. Wolf decided to answer the ALSFRS questionnaire:
Compared to the time before you had symptoms of ALS ... have you noticed any changes in your speech? She could no longer speak. Zero points.
Have there been any changes in your ability to swallow? She hadn't swallowed in years. Zero points. (When saliva pools in her throat, she types cmx
with her scanning keyboard. The computer says "coughing machine," and
one of her health aides suctions out her mouth and throat.)
And on and on. Cannot walk or move my legs. Zero. She couldn't turn herself over in bed or adjust the blankets without help. Helpless in bed. Zero. She couldn't breathe without a ventilator. Zero.
"I was offended," Wolf explains. "I felt it didn't reflect my abilities."
As a research scientist, Wolf's reaction to her rating was to question
the methodology. The instrument, she reasoned, was too crude to provide
much insight into a patient's true condition. "There's something in
psychological testing called the 'floor effect,' when the sensitivity
of the measure isn't low enough at its lowest levels," says
neuropsychologist Paul Wicks, the research and development director of
PatientsLikeMe. "She was trained as a psychologist, so she asked, 'Can
we fix this?'"
As
a fallback to when the eyebrow switch isn't working or she isn't
wearing it, Wolf sometimes uses the alphabet board. Her home health
aide holds the board and Wolf spells by directing her gaze, one letter
at a time.
She and Wicks teamed up to develop what they call the ALSFRS-EX, an
extended version of the rating scale that accounts for the changes that
people with ALS experience long after they hit the floor of the
standard scale. "Accurate ways to measure ALS are important research
tools to help slow the disease," Wicks says. "In traditional clinical
trials, which is what the scale was originally designed for, you tended
not to recruit people who were very, very sick. Unfortunately that
means that people like Cathy, who has lived with ALS for twelve years—
who are really the most interesting—are not eligible for the trials"
because of their low rating.
Wolf and Wicks recruited more than 200 PALS users to help them devise
ten new questions for judging abilities that the earlier scale ignored:
computer usage, finger and toe movement, and mobility. On the original
scale, for instance, if you require a wheelchair, your score on the
walking measure is zero. "For my money there's a big difference between
being in a wheelchair you can control yourself and a wheelchair where
you have to be pushed around," Wicks says. "And there's a big
difference between that and being so weak that you have to be in bed
all day."
After analyzing the statistical sensitivity of the ten questions, they
settled on three new scale items that focused on the use of fingers,
the capacity to show facial emotion, and the ability to get around
inside the house. Wolf, Wicks, and a third researcher then coauthored a
scientific paper to introduce their new scale. It was published in the
March issue of the European Journal of Neurology. "I am most proud of that paper of all my publications," Cathy says.
Wolf's interest in language dates back to her undergraduate days at
Tufts, where she read a book by Noam Chomsky proposing that humans are
hard-wired for language. "I thought that having an innate capacity for
something as complex as language was remarkable," Wolf says. "After
all, language distinguishes us from other animals."
Her interest coincided with an early interest in computers, long
before they became a ubiquitous part of everyday life. In 1967 she met
Joel, then an MIT mathematics student, via one of the two computer
services (they squabble over which) that were the precursor to internet
dating. "She was very pretty, very intelligent," Joel says. "She had a
great sense of humor. She was a very good dancer. I'm a very un-great
dancer, but I liked to watch her dance." The couple married in 1968,
and both began working toward their PhDs at Brown shortly after, he in
mathematics, she in psychology.
Cathy Wolf's interest in language led her to Peter Eimas, the Fred
M. Seed Professor Emeritus of Cognitive and Linguistic Sciences, whose
pioneering research demonstrated that infants have a far more
sophisticated understanding of language than was previously thought.
(Eimas died in 2005.) Wolf's research extended Eimas's findings by
comparing the way children of different ages perceive particular
linguistic nuances.
Wolf's daughter Laura says her parents remember graduate school as a
time of hectic contentment. "Sometimes," she says, "they would share a
gallon of ice cream for dinner because they were too busy to cook."
Later, cooking became a favorite family activity—Laura still makes
the Thanksgiving apple pie each year under her mom's watchful eye—but
Wolf never appreciated it as much as she does now, when she can eat
only through a feeding tube. She still remembers in vivid detail her
last meal, which she ate in 2001 and described in a poem titled "Last
Supper":
chocolate mousse
the essence of chocolate
fresh fruit salad
with sweet blueberries, tangy raspberries
and mellow cantaloupe
pumpernickel roll with raisins
and sourdough French bread
baby asparagus sautéed al dente
mashed potatoes spiked with piquant garlic
poached fillet of salmon served with creamy dill sauce
my last supper
food!
aromatic!
textured, tasty on the tongue!
now bypasses my mouth and nose
a bland substance for survival
In "First Snow," a poem she wrote in 2006, she recalled Sneaking cafeteria trays out under bulky parkas/To slide down College Hill/The trays navigating by the avocado moon. In the same poem, she fast-forwards many years, to Rolling soggy snow with husband and daughters to build a teetering snowman/The tallest on the block.
Each
time Wolf loses another muscle, she must construct a different way to
communicate. Here, she pilots brain-interface (BCI) technology. The
electrodes in the red cap read her brain waves, which are amplified in
a unique way when she focuses on a given letter. The selected letter
then appears on screen.
The outdoors was another Wolf family passion. Cathy and Joel often took
their daughters into the mountains and to the sea. "We have a lot of
good adventure stories," says Laura, now twenty-eight. "Like getting
caught in our tent during a lightning storm, and the dog capsizing our
sailboat." Cathy also loved to run; on her fortieth birthday, she took
first place in a 10K race, her first. Her daughter Erika, who is now
thirty-two, went on to become a professional ballet dancer. She still
remembers practicing waltz steps down the hallway with her mother.
Here is a day in Cathy Wolf's life, in her own typewritten words: "I
get up at ten thirty. At the computer usually by one thirty. Read
email, check PatientsLikeMe, work on various projects until nine or
ten, watch PBS News Hour and Daily Show, go to bed at midnight." Her
aides lift her from her wheelchair with a mesh-and-metal pulley and
settle her in a hospital bed in what used to be the family room. (I sleep alone now/Not by choice but by disease.)
She has to sleep with her bed at a forty-five-degree angle to keep from
choking. A nurse must watch her closely all night; if Wolf wakes up and
needs something, the only way the nurse will know is to see her eyes
moving.
Wolf's family says she is angrier than she often lets on. And sadder.
How could she not be? "There have been times in her life when things
have been low," Erika says, "but there's always been something big
coming up to live for: somebody's graduation, the birth of my son.
"Now it's all about my son."
Erika doesn't know exactly what her son, Ellis, understands about
what's wrong with his grandmother, but he loves to sit on her lap. He
is exceedingly gentle with her tubes and machines. He calls her
"grandcat." His favorite pants are the ones she picked out for him. He
calls them his "grandcat pants."
One day Erika visited her mother with her son. Outside, the sky was overcast. The familiar bong, bong, bong of the laptop was the sound track to the conversation between Erika and her mom.
"It's grey outside," she painstakingly typed, "but Ellis is the sun."
Beth Schwartzapfel is a BAM contributing editor.